Learning To Fly

By Roxanne Henke




Any parent knows that being a parent involves a willingness to learn when to hold on tight and when to let go. Any parent also knows it's the letting go that is the harder to learn of the two lessons.

Susan Shaffer has a daughter named Lily; this book follows them from Lily's birth to when she is nineteen-years old. While Susan's thoughts are her own, they truly respresent all that every mother faces when having a child. From the melt-downs in a restaurant to the fitful tears when she is denied the privelege of attending a friend's slumber party, Lily is every woman's daughter.

The obverse of Susan and Lily is mom JoJo and daughter Tiffany. They are best friends with Susan and Lily but have a very different take on what the relationship between a mother and child should be. Their mother-daughter role is allowed to be friend-friend rather than parent-child. It is this approach to parenting that gets them into trouble.

There may not be a handbook on how to face individual situations with a child; however, Roxanne Henke has written something that is very close, in the form of a novel. The situations are completely relatable, if not exact. She writes with utter empathy; she seems like a woman who may actually have parenting down to an exact science.

While God and Christianity are a background to this story, it does not come across as the main focus. Any reader can still relate to everything she writes, especially if you have a daughter. She proves how one parenting style can work over another by giving examples of each and novelizing the repercussions.

The chapters of the book switch back and forth from Susan and JoJo's point-of-view, and later, Lily's. In a JoJo's-point-of-view chapter, she is seeing her four-year old, Tiffany, have a tantrum at the mall because Tiffany wants to see Santa Claus. At first, she tries reasoning with her daughter and explaining that Santa is at the North Pole. When that fails to work, she tells Tiffany that if she does not stop the tantrum, they will leave the mall right then and there. Tiffany continues her bad behavior. Instead of making good on her threat, JoJo says, "Tiffi, listen to Mommy. If you stop crying, I'll buy you a treat at the toy store. Okay?"

Tiffany blinked two crocodile tears down her cheeks and stared back at me. I'd seen that obstinate attitude before. I was going to have to do better than a toy. "When we go to McDonald's, you can have an ice-cream cone for the ride home."

JoJo is the parent that is easy to become. She gives in to her children just to avert tantrums, but in the end, it makes her life much harder. On the other hand, Susan puts her foot down. Her daughter turns out much differently than JoJo's daughter.

This book is a recommended read to anyone (mother or father) who has a daughter or will have a daughter. Not only is the story full of emotions, it is easy to read and reinforces what we know to be the right way to parent. Roxanne Henke is to be commended for her attention to detail and her honesty. Be prepared to feel a tug at your heartstrings upon finishing the book; the pride you feel for what happens in the story will make you feel as though it is your own pride in your own beloved child.

http://www.ReaderReport.com